Unwanted Reception
by Nixa Jane
Summary: Voyager has returned home, and one of the crew is having trouble dealing with it. *COMPLETED*
1. Nadir

Unwanted Reception  
  
Part One: Nadir  
  
He had never wanted to make it home.  
  
It was the best three years of his life, an apparition of the perfect life.  
  
A taste of knowing what it was like to have friends.  
  
And now it was over. His chimera shattered, replaced by the cruel reality that was his life.  
  
Voyager had returned home.  
  
The Maquis had been pardoned, himself allowed to hold onto his commission.  
  
But he didn't care about that--because he knew the only reason he was still a lieutenant was his father, and he didn't want to obtain respect by standing in someone else's shadow.  
  
Janeway was gone, off with Voyager and a mostly new crew though he knew Harry and Tuvok were still aboard. They'd gone off on a mission, off to save some world no doubt.  
  
He had had the option of remaining on Voyager, as well, but it would have been too painful. He'd only be deluding himself. If he remained aboard he knew he would just pretend that nothing had changed.  
  
Everything had changed.  
  
All his friends were scattered, leaving him behind. He was stuck in some monotonous desk job in San Francisco while they made lives for themselves.  
  
He was alone. Again he was alone. He ignored all the communiqués from his family he refused contact with his friends. He knew that the reason everything was slipping away--but that only made it worse.  
  
What if he were to end it?  
  
Unravel this reality just as quickly as his delusion aboard Voyager had been ripped from him.  
  
It would be so easy.  
  
And that's what Tom Paris always did, right?  
  
Take the easy way out. 


	2. Pulled from the Shadows

Unwanted Reception  
  
By Layton Colt  
  
Disclaimer, I hate admitting this but no, I don't own Voyager or any of its crew.  
  
To clear up any misunderstandings this story is about Tom Paris, and it takes place in the 3rd season sometime before the Day of Honor so Tom and B'Ellana are only friends.  
  
  
  
B'Ellana stood nervously in front of his door.  
  
How long had it been since she'd seen him?  
  
2 months, or was it 3?  
  
She'd become thoughtless when Voyager returned. She realized that now.  
  
It was just that she had made so many friends and once they had returned it had become apparent to her just how easily they could leave her.  
  
It had been ingrained in B'Ellana at an early age, a defense mechanism caused by her father's departure.  
  
Always leave them before they can leave you.  
  
So she'd cut herself off from her friends, became a recluse. She'd been more than a little surprised when during one of Harry's forced visits he had told her Tom had become a hermit as well.  
  
Tom? The unwavering socialite? She hadn't believed it at first, that Tom could cut himself off from human contact was unthinkable. But Harry had sworn it was true.  
  
B'Ellana had decided not to hide any longer. And she wasn't going to let Tom either.  
  
Lifting her chin, she pressed the chime on his door.  
  
Tom didn't answer the chime but the door was unlocked so she pushed it open.  
  
When she stepped into the apartment and saw Tom kneeling on the floor her eyes widened in horror.  
  
"Tom! What are you doing?"  
  
Tom's head shot up, his eyes unfocused stared at B'Ellana in confusion. He had deep four-inch slits on both of his wrists with a distressing amount of blood seeping through.  
  
B'Ellana didn't know what to do. Her question had been pretty dense. It was obvious what he was doing.  
  
"Just go away, B'Ellana," Tom had meant it as a yell but he was weak and it came out as a whisper.  
  
Dropping down next to him B'Ellana took the knife from his shaking hand. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
B'Ellana quickly took off her jacket and ripped off the sleeves, tying them tight around Tom's wrists she called for an emergency transport to Starfleet Medical.  
  
To be continued  
  
What will happen? You've got me, I don't even know yet.  
  
Please review and give me any ideas you might have for the next part. 


	3. No Longer Alone

Unwanted Reception  
  
By Layton Colt  
  
Disclaimer, I hate admitting this but no, I don't own Voyager or any of its crew.  
  
The hospital was quiet. Only soft beeps and the shuffling of feet penetrated the silence.  
  
B'Elanna looked up at Tom, he looked pale but that was the only evidence of what had happened.  
  
They had told her that Tom would live. The scars would fade in another hour. He'd be fine by tomorrow.  
  
Fine?  
  
Didn't they see what he had done to himself? How could he be fine?  
  
The anti depressants they'd given him wouldn't make this go away. I wouldn't take away the images that haunted her.  
  
Why?  
  
She couldn't figure it out. Tom finally had his life pulled together. A life with Starfleet, friends, family, they were home…  
  
That was it. They were home. All the doubts and uncertainties that had plagued her since they're return must have been eating away at him as well.  
  
This was her fault. She knew better than anyone how he must have felt. How desperate everything must have appeared.  
  
She'd waited far too long to go visit him.  
  
Why had she waited so long, they were friends, friends are supposed to be there for each other.  
  
She'd be here for him now.  
  
Whether he wanted her to be or not.  
  
She'd lost too many people she'd been close to. She wasn't about to add Tom's name to the list.  
  
She hadn't called Tom's family, she knew he wouldn't want them here. But she'd talked to Harry and he was on his way.  
  
She couldn't stop thinking about how she almost hadn't gone to see him today.  
  
Visions of Harry's tear stained fast as he told her Tom was dead, that he had killed himself.  
  
No! Stop that. Tom is fine. He *will* be fine.  
  
B'Elanna wouldn't allow him to be anything else.  
  
  
  
To be continued? Maybe… just one more part.  
  
I know it's really short, but like I said before this isn't really my style. I'm trying some different writing styles.  
  
I'm not so sure I like this story but I'll try and finish it anyway. Just be patient, I'm fighting off a serious case of writers block. 


	4. Hope and Promise

Unwanted Reception  
  
By Layton Colt  
  
Disclaimer, I hate admitting this but no, I don't own Voyager or any of its crew.  
  
Tom could hear voices…  
  
But he had the strangest feeling that he wasn't supposed to hear anything ever again.  
  
He recognized the people talking instantly, Harry and B'Elanna.  
  
But what were they doing here?  
  
And exactly where was here?  
  
"He did this to himself!" he heard Harry cry. "When you called and said that there was an accident… I never thought."  
  
"I know," B'Elanna's soft voice replied. "I never thought Tom would try anything like this either."  
  
Try what?  
  
Oh, that.  
  
What happened rushed back to him, falling to his knees B'Elanna rushing to his side.  
  
This wasn't good.  
  
How would he face them? He'd finally gone and proven what so many had claimed.  
  
That he was a coward.  
  
What were they even doing here?  
  
Why had B'Elanna bothered to stop him? This could be over now.  
  
"Tom? Tom, are you awake?"  
  
B'Elanna's voice was calling to him but he didn't want to answer, he couldn't open his eyes.  
  
If he didn't maybe none of this would be real.  
  
"Tom, please, open your eyes."  
  
B'Elanna sounded scared, why would she be so upset?  
  
It was only him.  
  
"Tom?"  
  
Giving into temptation, he forced his eyes to open.  
  
B'Elanna and Harry were both hovering over him, wearing too fake smiles.  
  
"Hey," he rasped.  
  
What else could he say?  
  
"Hey yourself," B'Elanna said lightly. "You want to tell us what happened?"  
  
"You were there,"  
  
B'Elanna narrowed her eyes, "I know what you did, Tom. I'm not sure that I know why,"  
  
Tom turned his head to the window, watching the people walking outside and willing his friends away.  
  
B'Elanna put her hand on his chin and forced him to face her again. "Why, Tom? Why have you done this?"  
  
Tom gave a self-depreciating smile, "I guess I decided that the world would be better off without me."  
  
B'Elanna glared at him, "And what of us? Did you think Harry and I would be better off without you as well? Because I can tell you right now if you'd succeeded I'd of never forgiven myself."  
  
Tom looked genuinely surprised, "B'Elanna this isn't your fault!"  
  
"Isn't it?" she said with a mirthless laugh. "At least Harry tried to visit you, where was I? I should have been there for you."  
  
"I wouldn't have let you be."  
  
"What about now, Tom?" Harry asked. "Will you let us be here for you now?"  
  
"Please Tom," B'Elanna whispered. "You aren't alone anymore. You can't just do whatever you want and have no one be affected by it. We care about you and when you're hurting it hurts us too…"  
  
Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing. They cared about him? Why?  
  
They would be so much better off if they'd never known him.  
  
"We need you to be alright Tom," B'Elanna continued. "You mean so much to us…" B'Elanna broke off as a tear slid down her cheek.  
  
Tom watched her in fascination. B'Elanna never cried. But somehow he'd managed to make her.  
  
"B'Elanna, I'm sorry…" he whispered as he sat up in bed. "I never meant to hurt you I just…"  
  
"But you did hurt me," B'Elanna choked out. "And I want you to promise me that you won't ever try anything like this again."  
  
Tom stared at her. Could he do that? Could he make that promise and keep it?  
  
"Tom, I want you to promise me. Harry and I will help you… we'll do whatever we have to but you need to promise me. I want your word that you won't do this again."  
  
Tom looked at his two best friends in turn. They both looked as bad as he imagined he did. He'd done this to them.  
  
They'd done this to themselves because of how much they cared about him.  
  
They really did care…  
  
"I promise you, B'Elanna… I give you my word."  
  
  
  
Not much of an ending but at least it's done with. And I had to give this story my customary happy ending, Tom promised not to hurt himself again and B'Elanna and Harry will help him make a new life for himself. Yea!  
  
I know the endings a little rushed. But what do you expect? I was rushing. 


End file.
